What If?
by Hedgi
Summary: A series of ridiculous One-shots regarding Zzyzzx, the Sphinx, and other more serious aspects of Fablehaven. Co-written with my Boyfriend. Ideas welcome!
1. What if the Demons were Mormon?

**This is a story idea that my boyfriend and I thought up a few months ago. In honor of the 5th book's cover release, I wrote the first chapter. "What if "is a series of one shots regarding book five, with absolutely zero intent of being serious. I hope you enjoy the frist chapter, which is based on the idea- what if the demons were Mormons?**

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Kendra froze, the magical fear pouring from the large golden door and the man-beast- before it paralyzing her. Seth broke free of the henchmen holding him, who had also succumbed to the fear, and grabbed her arm. She heaved a sigh of relief, before the siblings raced forward, but already the Sphinx had fit four artifacts into the slots on the door. It would only take one more, which he held aloft.

Seeing the Sorenson's last ditch attempt to rescue their world from utter destruction, the Sphinx only laughed, and knocked on the golden door. The sound echoed, seemingly forever. A slot, hidden by the intricate carvings, opened and a hand poked out. There was a single, bloodshot eye on the back of it, the hand itself was misshapen, with seven fingers, in lime green with plum purple blotches. A ring gleamed on one finger, not gaudy and exuding magic, as Kendra had expected, but simple, silver with a green shield, and three letters. C. T.R.

"Oh, they came back!" a voice cried, followed by others " Olgaveda, move!",

"I can't see!",

"what's going on?",

"did they bring cookies?",

"open the door, open the door!"

The voices sounded like rocks pounding together, or slime oozing from a jar, or both sounds at once. Seth shuddered. It was too late! It couldn't be too late, not after all they'd done!!

"I am the Sphinx!" the creator of the children's nightmares cried out," and I come to free you, oh great demons of darkness, and of despair and of evil! All I ask is that you follow my orders, obey my, and you shall be free to wreak havoc upon the world!"

"Oh, no." Kendra whispered. There was no way she and Seth could get the artifact- the Sphinx was just too strong!

"Oh.." said the voice connected to the hand with the eye. "This _is_ a bit awkward. We, uh, were excepting someone other than you, er, Sphinx, did you say your name was?"

One of the rock smashing voices moaned " Drat it all!" but was shushed.

The Sphinx growled angrily, "You are the great demons of Zzyzzx, are you not? I will free you, and grant you permission to bring chaos and destruction to the world of your captors!"

"Well, you see, Sphinx… we aren't really into chaos and destruction anymore… not for decades. So, if you want something like that, you'll have to look elsewhere."

Kendra's jaw dropped as Seth began to roll on the ground, laughing hysterically- the magical fear was utterly gone, without a trace, and the Sphinx began to curse, in over a dozen languages Kendra didn't understand. He then vanished, leaving the artifacts behind, in a fit of rage.

Seth immediately darted forward to retrieve the artifacts- Grandma and Grandpa would need them to find and free his parents, and to cure Dale, who was again a lead statue. He was wondering what it would be like to live forever, as the eyeball-hand grabbed him by the arm- very gently, to his surprise. Kendra screamed and raced in, but stopped short as the beast began to speak.

" You! Children? Do you think you to could do us a tiny favor? Just a little one?"

" Like free you?" Seth snorted, freeing himself. " Not gonna happen."

"Oh, no. it's quite nice in here" the demon assured him, " and we'd pay you- un-cursed gold!"

Seth stopped. "Depends" he said, looking to his sister, who was motioning that they really should go, then back at the eye. "What is it, and how much?"

"Oh, all the gold you can carry!" a dozen voices promised together

One of the other voices spoke, softly.

" It's such a little thing," she said. "You see, Ekasafe ate our last copy, and the elders haven't been back for months, and we were in the middle of a very important part- Alma! Do you think you could go buy us a few dozen copies of " The Book of Mormon" Please?

Seth questioningly at his sister, who only shrugged as he mouthed, "We are in Utah, aren't we?"

The end.

Read and review, and leave ideas!


	2. What if The Sphinx's sister showed up?

What if? Chapter two. What if the Sphinx wasn't from our world? And his family was P'O'd at him?

Disclaimer: I don't own Fablehaven, or its Characters. Any new characters are mine. No disrespect to Mr. Mull is intended.

The Sphinx held the Glimmering Crystal, the Oculous, high in the air before the shimmering door." At last!" he cried, turning to face the last resisters of the Society. Of all the knights of the dawn, only a handful had remained free until this cold morning- Kendra, Seth, Tanu, Dale and Grandma Sorenson. The others had been captured, and although the few remaining never spoke the words aloud, they feared that their comrades had been killed. And now even they were not free, caught as Seth had tried desperately to steal just one- any one- of the artifacts, to thwart the Sphinx's plan.

"Witness all, the power and destruction I release!" he roared. "Any last words, _Knights_?" he spat the last word.

Kendra lifted her chin, defiantly, gripping Seth's hand in one of her own, and Tanu's in the other. "You won't win. Not forever. The Fairy Queen still lives, and others will rise up!" she was trembling in fear, as were the rest of her friends and family, but she spoke on, " and as long as there is that ray of.. of hope, that light of good, your darkness won't ever win!" she felt stronger for her words, but when she closed her mouth, she felt weaker than she ever had. Only the grip of one of the member's of the evening Star on her shoulder's kept her upright.

Grandma and Tanu and Dale all remained quiet. They had nothing to add, and hardly the energy to stand. Seth spat at the Sphinx, " I hope a demon eats you, you, you." He couldn't think of a good enough insult, and settled for spitting again.

The sphinx only laughed, then, turning, fitted the crystal into Its slot. At once, a key-hole formed in the door, and the artifacts disintegrated, the dust reforming itself as if caught in a mighty wind. It became a huge, glittering key. As the onlookers watched in terror, the Sphinx inserted and turned the key. Kendra shut her eyes, praying that death would be swift, and that Heaven was truly real, that in it she would see her friends again. She head a shout of anger, and... another voice. Similar to the Sphinx's, but… lighter.

"Finxie!" it screeched. Kendra opened her eyes. The door remained unopened, and standing before it stood a woman- about a head taller than the Sphinx, but with the same Ageless quality, the same dark skin.

"Finxie, what did mother tell you about messing with the lives of mortals? Answer me!" the woman demanded.

Seth, beside her, giggled , the first sound of joy any of them had heard in weeks, months.

The Sphinx dropped the key and cursed. The woman seized him by the ear. "Are you deaf, Finxie?" she shouted.

"No, Phoenix." He muttered angrily. Massaging his ear where she'd pinched it, he stooped down to find the key.

"You _still_ haven't answered me!" Phoenix cried. " What. Did. Mother. Tell. YOU. About. Messing. Up. The. Lives. Of. Mortals?" she pressed a foot down on top of the key.

"Not to." the Sphinx now wore the expression of a Schoolboy who'd been caught sneaking into class two hours late.

"Correct" Phoenix hissed, before turning to the humans gathered.

"I apologies for my little brother's bad behavior. He's just pouting because Mother took his immortality away last millennium, but that is no excuse for attempting to destroy this lovely piece of real estate I'm make sure he is punished, and that Mother will do all she can to restore order to your planet. Now, Finxie, come ALONG"

She and " Finxie" vanished in the link of an eye, and left everyone looking rather confused.

Within 30 seconds, the large door had vanished, the Key had melted into the earth, and a large Knapsack, much like the one Naverogg( or as Seth had taken to calling him, Gavarogg) had burned, fell to the ground. Upon opening it, the five befuddled Knights discovered a football field sized room, and thousands of familiar and long lost friends

As Kendra wept with joy, she heard Seth snort. "Finxie!"

Whaddaya think? Read and review and tell your friends


	3. What if the Demons play Monopoly?

**Author's Note: HEY! I'm back! I'm ALIVE! I wasn't sure if I should continue, seeing as book five is out, but then thought, why not! I already have the story typed. So, dear readers, here is chapter three. **

**disclaimer: i do not own Fablehaven, Brandon Mull does. ****  
**  
_What if ….The demons played monopoly?_

As the huge door swung inward, a gust of air so vile it made Seth retch, escaped the gloom.  
Kendra turned her head, terrified of what she might see within the walls of the prison that had haunted her dreams for so long.

Nothing.  
In his thundering voice, so harsh now, the Sphinx cried, " Arise, my minions, and go forth! "  
Seth squeezed his eyes shut. He did not want to see the end of the world.  
A minute passed. And another.  
Nothing happened.  
" I command you!" the Sphinx tried Demons of the world, unite!"  
the siblings looked at each other, then at the door.  
Nothing

And then, a voice, echoing from the depths came, like a banshee, " come and say that to my faces!"  
The Sphinx stepped forward, and then thought better of being the first. He shoved Seth in front of him, and Kendra tried in vain to free her brother.

Before she could wrench Seth from the Sphinx's grip, the door behind them swung shut, immersing them in almost utter darkness. Kendra's glow showed a passageway, sloping downward, and the trio cautiously followed flinching at every step.

Shouts and cries began to reach their ears. Wails of agony and shrieks of anger echoed in the stone tomb.

Suddenly, Seth cried out in pain- something had been flung from the foul darkness, and had struck his ear. Turning, Kendra saw the item, glinting on the cave floor. The three stopped as she reached for it. It was cool to the touch, and rolling it in her fingers, she discovered it was a small, rusty metal token- a shoe no bigger than a nipsie's head.

She placed it in her pocket and, praying silently, she caught up with the others

The Sphinx continued to call for the demons to " shake off their slumber" and " claim the world!" but while the shouts still echoed, no response was given.

At last, the tunnel opened up, and the shouts became words.  
" cheat, cheat! You owe me 2000000!"  
" no, I do not!" called another voice. " it's only 200, and you havn't gone yet!"  
" ha, old coot! You just don't want to lose!" the first voice jeered  
" like you could win anyhow, fool!"

a huge cavern was spread before them, a dozen hulking monsters hunched around a table of stone.  
" demons!" shouted the Immortal for the thousandth time " I have come to set you free! go forth!"  
one of the creatures, with horns, fangs, and fur turned, claws clutching a handful of brightly colored paper strips, and croaked, " would you mind letting us finish the game?", as another reached out a rotting hand, dropped a pair of dice, and moved a small metal race car across the table."  
" CURSES!" it shouted. " Boardwalk with 300 hotels! I despise this… this GAME!"

Seth burst into laughter as the sphinx's jaw hit the floor. Then turned and ran with Kendra as the defeated sphinx sank to the floor.  
" all my plans… all my work!" he moaned." I call the Scotty dog, next round"

fin

**WHADDAYA THINK?****  
****Should I post more of these?****  
****I have a few, including: **

**the translocator going on the fritz, **

**the satyrs go on a rampage against Hollywood, **

**an evil ball of yarn is released upon the world **

**fangirls rewrite the first few pages of book one.****  
****Let me know what you'd like first, k?****  
****Thanks for reading**


	4. What if the Sphinx was a Chocoholic?

**Hey everyone! So, this is a chapter by MerryB, not me. I did not write this. I do not lay claim to this idea. So, if you like this, please review, and take a moment or two to PM Merryb. MerryB does not own Fablehaven, nor do I. we own nothing but our own ideas. But they are really cool ideas, right?**

**I'll update again in a week or so.**

**What if the Sphinx was a chocoholic?**

Kendra and Seth managed to get into the room where the Sphinx was hiding. The others were dealing with the guards, so Kendra and Seth could make it. When Kendra and Seth made it, they saw that the Sphinx was facing away from them. They also noticed that one of his arms was moving and there was a sound, but Kendra and Seth couldn't place it. They glanced at each other out of the corner of their eyes and knew what they had to do. They began to circle around the Sphinx to face him. As they approached, Kendra said " Ok Sphinx, this is it."

When they got closer, they realized what the sound was. The Sphinx was eating. "Ok, *nom nom nom* I'll be with you *munch munch munch munch* in just a sec. *gobble gobble gobble" came the reply. When Kendra and Seth managed to make it in front of the Sphinx, they both stared wide-eyed. the Sphinx was sitting crossed legged on the floor, with a big box of chocolates, grabbing as much as he could and stuffing it in his mouth. He had a big ring of chocolate around his mouth. Seth could barely hold in his laughter. The Sphinx paused in his eating long enough to tell them "I was expecting you later. Look, before you say anything, I have to tell you that I have a problem. I'm a chocoholic. I've been one for years. I just can't stop!" As soon as the words left his mouth, the Sphinx burst out crying and started eating even more chocolates. Seth started to walk toward the door to get the others, and was starting to giggle. The Sphinx suddenly stood up and spun around, while pointing at Seth. When he was facing Seth, the Sphinx yelled in an extremely loud voice "SHUT UP! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE SOMEONE LAUGHING AT YOUR PROBLEMS?"

After he finished yelling, the Sphinx got a relieved look on his face, the doubled over laughing. When the Sphinx yelled at him, Seth froze where he was, but when he heard laughing, Seth turned around worriedly. Seth looked over to his sister, who had been standing where she was from the beginning, with a confused look on his face. Kendra just shrugged. When it was obvious the Sphinx wasn't stopping, Seth walked out of the room to get the others, and Kendra heard him laughing hardily down the hall.

**Hahahaha!**

**Next chapter involves Narnia. See you in about a week.**

**Remember, if you read, leave a review!**


	5. What if there was an off screen war?

**Hey all. I know I said I'd post another one soon… about a year ago. Sorry about that. I've been working on another fic, a digimon one. This is another guest chapter, written by Genun. I hope you like it!**

The Sphinx lifts the last artifact into the air, and savors his victory as he finally opens the gates to the demon prision, Zzyzx. Kendra and Seth, the last two of the survivors of the Knights of the Dawn, ran down the cliff. Kendra slides to a stop, and pulls her bow taut. She lets loose her last arrow, only to have the Sphinx bat it out of the air, as he places the last artifact.

"Come out and enjoy your freedom Demons! I am here to let lose the Armageddon, and bring to pass the end of this small world." He cries, as he tries to throw open the doors.

"No one's here, go away." squeaked a small voice from inside.

"What! I come all this way to set you free, I betray humankind, and risk my life, just to hear you say no one's here! What sort of demon are you!"

"There no demons here, nope none at all. Only us imps left here." squealed a new voice.

"I said, don't tell him that, he might want to rule over us like the last one did."

"But if we don't let him in, he can't do that, can he?"

"Oh, shut up and let me handle it!"

The Sphinx, with his jaw still on the floor, finally shoves the door open, and yells at the two little imps on the inside, "I demand to know what has happened here! Show me where the demons are, so that I may lead them to victory."

"Um... Great master? There are no," it gulps, " demons left, master. They all, killed each other."

"Master he lies, some still live, but…they aren't all that strong. And are usually just depressed, or lazy." The imps say in shaky voices, while bowing and quivering in fear.

"What do you mean, there are no demons left? The humans and faeries imprisoned them in here a millennium ago. They couldn't have left or the world would have ended. You fools lie to me!" The Sphinx roars as he slaps one of the imps across the room.

"Mr. Master sir, they all fought each other. The king and prince got into a big fight, and soon all the demons were fighting. It was bloody, and very epic, sir. Only those who were cowards or too lazy to fight were spared from the bloodshed."

"Then what was this great fight all about," the Sphinx asks, turning to the other, "Let me guess, power and the throne. I don't believe that. The prince was bound to have the throne when the king dies, so there is no need to kill the king for it. Now lead me to where they rest, or I shall have your head."

The other imp stand up straight, and boldly says, "Sir, we are done here. The demons were bored and from what I heard it was over the last cookie. You see, no one here can cook, and we are bound to run out of supplies eventually. Demons don't need to eat, but boy, were those cookies good. So when the last one was gone, they fought, because they were bored and had nothing to do. Now we are having fun enjoying this tower, and not being beaten. So leave before we get the last group of demons to shove you out."

The Sphinx stares blankly at the imp, and mutters something about revenge as he stalks off deeper into the castle. Seth begins rolling in laughter, half in relief, and half in joy.

"I don't see what's so funny. It's old news that there are no demons left." the first imp says, and begins to shut the door. "Have a nice day though, can't say much for the other guy."

"Well Seth, are you ready to head home then? I'll make some double chocolate chip cookies, if you can stop rolling in the mud and take a shower for once." Kendra says, as she slides the last few feet down the hill.

"Oh! Would you bring some back later, please? Or at least an oven and some recipes?" squeals one of the imps.

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